Earl Spencer’s ‘Withering’ Princess Anne Claim Sparks Pushback as Decades of Warmer Moments Tell a Very Different Story

Princess Anne has spent decades cultivating a reputation for hard work, dry humor and an unmistakably no-nonsense approach to royal life.

But Earl Spencer’s new memoir about Princess Diana offers a considerably colder recollection of the Princess Royal — one that royal observers argue doesn’t tell the whole story.

In Swan Song: Diana, My Sister, Spencer recalls an uncomfortable encounter with Anne at Buckingham Palace shortly before Diana’s 1981 wedding to the future King Charles.

According to Spencer, one brief response from Anne left him feeling “small.”

Royal biographer Robert Hardman, however, has cautioned that memories of Anne’s personality will inevitably differ.

“Lord Spencer does like to lob a casual potshot into a story,” Hardman observed.

And decades of public moments involving Anne’s children, grandchildren, grieving families and even rugby players reveal another side of one of the Royal Family’s most famously reserved figures.

Earl Spencer Says Anne Gave Him a ‘Withering’ Response

Spencer’s account dates to a formal Buckingham Palace dinner two days before his sister’s wedding.

He says he asked Anne about the christening of her daughter, Zara Tindall, who had been born earlier that year.

According to Spencer, Anne stopped and looked at him “witheringly.”

“Tell me, how’s a christening supposed to go?” he recalls her replying.

Spencer says the exchange left him feeling diminished.

It is one of several unflattering royal recollections contained in the memoir, although Hardman noted that other people’s experiences of Anne’s demeanor will certainly “vary.”

Indeed, Anne’s public life contains numerous examples that contrast sharply with that brief 1981 encounter.

A Very Different Princess Anne Appears Around Her Family

Anne’s relationship with her children and grandchildren has frequently revealed a warmer side.

Both Peter Phillips and Zara Tindall live near their mother on her 700-acre Gatcombe Park estate in Gloucestershire, allowing Anne to remain closely involved with their families.

Hardman has previously described Anne’s relationship with her grandchildren as remarkably ordinary.

“It’s very normal; there isn’t any standing on ceremony,” he said. “She’s a very good grandmother.”

According to Hardman, Anne is hands-on with the younger generation and “dotes” on them.

The late Queen Elizabeth II’s former aide Ailsa Anderson offered a similar account, describing Anne as relaxed and affectionate when spending time with her grandchildren at horse trials.

Earlier this year, Anne was also reportedly welcoming toward her newest step-granddaughter, Georgina, following Peter’s marriage to NHS nurse Harriet Sperling.

A source described Anne as an “amazing mother and grandmother” who helped make people feel comfortable within the family.

A Touching Moment at Zara and Mike Tindall’s Wedding

One particularly poignant example came during Zara’s 2011 wedding to former England rugby star Mike Tindall.

Mike’s father, Phil Tindall, had been living with Parkinson’s disease and was already struggling physically.

A photograph from the wedding showed Anne carefully guiding him through the venue.

Mike later revealed just how difficult his father’s condition had become at the time.

“He was really struggling at our wedding,” he told The Sunday Times in 2020, adding that Phil underwent spinal surgery shortly afterward.

Phil subsequently died at 80 after living with Parkinson’s for more than two decades.

The Hug With Zara That Changed Perceptions

Anne’s famously controlled public image cracked open in particularly memorable fashion when Zara became European Eventing Champion at Blenheim Palace.

After Zara’s victory, Anne rushed forward and wrapped her daughter in an emotional embrace.

The footage resurfaced years later and surprised viewers accustomed to seeing the Princess Royal maintain a much more reserved demeanor.

Royal commentator Richard Fitzwilliams recalled that Anne had previously been perceived by some as “severe and imperious.”

Seeing her unguarded joy with Zara therefore offered something different.

Fitzwilliams described the embrace as “sheer, undiluted joy” and said the public could share in the family’s happiness.

Social media users who later discovered the footage similarly praised Anne’s relationship with her daughter, describing her as affectionate and celebrating the pair’s bond.

Anne’s Softer Side After Queen Elizabeth’s Death

Anne’s sensitivity was also visible during one of the most painful periods of her life.

She shared an especially close relationship with Queen Elizabeth II and remained with her mother during her final hours in September 2022.

Yet despite her own grief, Anne continued meeting members of the public.

She thanked mourners for their flowers and was photographed comforting grieving children, providing another glimpse of the compassion often hidden beneath her famously practical exterior.

A Rugby Hug Becomes an Unexpected Royal Moment

More recently, Anne’s relationship with Scottish rugby captain Sione Tuipulotu produced an unlikely running joke.

As patron of the Scottish Rugby Union, Anne initially stepped away when Tuipulotu attempted to hug her while celebrating Scotland’s Calcutta Cup success.

Rather than creating an awkward moment, the pair laughed about it.

At another meeting, both jokingly opened their arms as if preparing for another embrace.

Eventually, after Scotland’s final Six Nations fixture against Ireland, Tuipulotu finally got his hug.

Scottish Rugby shared the moment with the caption “Sione finally gets his hug.”

Fans responded by describing Anne as human, down-to-earth and clearly delighted by the exchange.

One Memory Versus Decades of Public Moments

None of these moments disproves Earl Spencer’s account of what happened at Buckingham Palace in 1981.

Anne could have responded exactly as he remembers while still possessing the warmer qualities witnessed by family members and members of the public over subsequent decades.

Even Spencer ultimately acknowledged something important about his sister’s former sister-in-law.

Whatever he thought of that early encounter, he conceded that Anne’s “hard work as the royal patron of good causes won through.”

More than four decades after the exchange he describes, that may be why his portrait of Anne feels so striking.

Earl Spencer remembers a young princess whose “withering” response made him feel small. The Anne seen embracing Zara, guiding an ill father-in-law, comforting grieving children and doting on her grandchildren presents a far more complicated picture — one brief encounter could never fully capture.