Earl Spencer says King Charles ‘hissed’ Diana remark during post-death phone call

Charles Spencer has described a deeply upsetting phone conversation with King Charles following Princess Diana’s death, claiming the then Prince of Wales told him, “We’ll forget her soon enough.”

Speaking to ABC News’ Maggie Rulli on Good Morning America on September 21, Earl Spencer said the words have stayed with him for nearly three decades. He claimed the remark was delivered with such force that it was not simply spoken, but “hissed.”

The allegation appears in Spencer’s new memoir, Swan Song: Diana, My Sister, which was published on September 22. The book revisits Diana’s childhood, her marriage to Charles, the intense media attention surrounding her and the events surrounding her death in Paris in 1997.

Spencer says the remark came during an argument over Diana’s funeral

According to Spencer’s account, the exchange took place while he and Charles were discussing arrangements for Diana’s funeral.

Diana died in a car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997, aged 36. Just days later, on September 6, her funeral was held at Westminster Abbey, with Spencer walking behind her coffin alongside Princes William and Harry, Prince Charles and the Duke of Edinburgh. Spencer also delivered the eulogy for his sister.

In his book, Spencer says that the disagreement with Charles became particularly painful when the future King told him, “Rest assured, we’ll forget her soon enough.”

During his ABC News interview, Spencer emphasized that the delivery mattered as much to him as the words themselves.

“I’ll never forget the five words,” he said, explaining that Charles did not simply say the phrase but “hissed” it.

The account has prompted an unusually direct response from Buckingham Palace. The Palace normally does not comment on books or reports concerning members of the Royal Family, but a spokesperson responded to the claim on September 16.

The statement said that while the Palace does not comment on books as a matter of principle, Charles was mindful that “fraternal grief” could affect a person’s reason, judgment and memory, even many years after a loss.

Spencer strongly objected to that response.

‘It’s not every day you’re gaslit by a King’

Asked about the Palace statement, Spencer said he was both upset and shocked.

“It’s not every day you’re gaslit by a King,” he told ABC News.

He said he regarded the Palace’s response as condescending and argued that it did not directly deny that Charles had made the remark.

For Spencer, the episode was important enough to include in a book intended to document his experience of Diana’s life and death.

He said the memory was included because he considered it “a fundamental part of the truth” of his account.

The dispute comes as Swan Song: Diana, My Sister brings Spencer’s memories of his sister back into the public spotlight. Published by Penguin on September 22, the memoir is presented as an account of Diana’s life from the perspective of the brother who grew up alongside her and remained closely connected to her.

Spencer’s criticism of Charles goes beyond the phone call

The phone conversation is only one of several difficult memories Spencer discusses in the book.

He describes Charles in highly critical terms, including calling him a “petulant child” and a “bellowing buffoon.”

Spencer also alleges that Charles appeared “giddily elated” when he spoke to him immediately after Diana’s death, comparing the reaction to that of a lottery winner. ABC News reported that this was another of the claims that prompted scrutiny of the memoir.

Asked whether he had deliberately held anything back, Spencer said he had not.

He maintained that he could have gone much further, but insisted that the material he ultimately included was there because he considered it necessary to understanding the story he wanted to tell.

“I didn’t hold back,” he said, while adding that he could have gone “an awful lot further.”

Spencer has also reflected on his own understanding of Diana’s life. Looking back, he said he now recognizes that his sister had experienced far greater difficulties than he understood at the time.

He described Diana as having been trapped in what he called a “gilded cage” and said one of his regrets was that he did not do more to help her when she was struggling.

A brother’s account of Diana’s life

For all the controversy surrounding its claims about Charles, Swan Song is fundamentally Spencer’s account of his relationship with Diana.

The siblings were particularly close growing up. In excerpts released ahead of publication, Spencer recalls Diana as a teenager whose personality became increasingly confident and distinctive, with a quick sense of humour and an ability to put people at ease.

He also writes about witnessing the extraordinary media attention that surrounded her when she began dating Prince Charles.

One episode took place in November 1980, when Diana drove to Eton College to collect Spencer for lunch. By then, she was being pursued by photographers and reporters, who followed her in a convoy of cars and motorcycles.

Spencer recalled being shocked by the intensity of the press attention and said that, from his perspective, the reporters were bullying his sister.

The episode became an early indication of the pressure that would follow Diana throughout her years in public life.

Spencer remembers Diana as someone who connected with people

Spencer also writes warmly about Diana’s ability to connect with people regardless of their background.

During the lunch at the Hind’s Head near Bray, he recalled how Diana chatted easily with restaurant staff and left them delighted after brief conversations.

For Spencer, this ability to make strangers feel comfortable was one of the qualities that defined her.

He also recalls how deeply Diana cared for Prince Charles during the early years of their relationship. Spencer says she was clearly in love with him and had long imagined marriage as something that should only happen when a person was genuinely in love.

The memoir traces that relationship from its early days through the breakdown of the marriage and the events that followed.

Diana and Charles finalized their divorce in 1996 after 15 years of marriage. They had two sons, Prince William and Prince Harry. Diana died the following year in the Paris crash.

Neither William nor Harry has publicly commented on their uncle’s memoir.

Spencer says he is not trying to damage the monarchy

Despite the criticism contained in his book, Spencer rejected the suggestion that his purpose was to attack the monarchy.

He said he wanted to tell Diana’s story properly and, above all, remind people who knew her why she had such a powerful connection with others.

“I wanted to do this properly once and for all for Diana,” he said.

He also rejected the idea that he was motivated by bitterness or anger, saying he did not consider himself bitter.

The timing of the memoir is significant. With the 30th anniversary of Diana’s death approaching in 2027, interest in her life and legacy is once again intense. Spencer has said the book is intended to offer his perspective on the sister he knew privately, rather than simply revisit the public image of the Princess of Wales.

The renewed attention has also brought Spencer’s concerns about media treatment back into focus.

In recent interviews, he has drawn comparisons between the treatment Diana received from the press and the coverage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. He said he hopes people remember that public figures are still people with emotions and vulnerabilities, a point he believes was too often overlooked in Diana’s case.

Nearly 30 years after Diana’s death, Spencer’s memoir has therefore reopened some of the most painful chapters of her story. At its center is his account of a brother trying to preserve his own memories of Diana, while challenging the version of events he says was presented in response to his book.